So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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