so explain again why im purple
no
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
