Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
