she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Found the puke drawer
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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