Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
