Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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