I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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