I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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