You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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