so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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