I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
His hands were made for my vagina.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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