I heard we made out
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
