Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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