Me too!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
