Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
