My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
