singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
