Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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