this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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