"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He did a backflip because drugs
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