So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
