Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
