I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you had me at cake vodka
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
