Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
