i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
