Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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