You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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