she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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