p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
