I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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