I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
