Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
