just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
