i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
