i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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