Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
