there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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