I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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