So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
