I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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