I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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