Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
