all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
