He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
