I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
