I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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