Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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