Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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