whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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