i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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